Happy Thoughts - the ultimate distraction page.
This page is to distract you from feeling crap. The suggestions of things to cheer yourself up are for if you feel yourself slipping, while the other pages are things to read to entertain yourself from your computer. If all else fails hide under the bed covers and have a nap.
Girls are like
apples on trees. The best
ones are at the top of the tree.
The boys don't want to reach for
the good ones because they are afraid
of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they
just get the rotten apples from the ground
that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples
at the top think something is wrong with
them, when in reality, they're amazing.
They just have to wait for the right
boy to come along, the one
who's brave enough
to climb
all the way
to the top
of the tree.
YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN IN UNIVERSITY TOO LONG WHEN...
You actually like doing laundry at home where the washing machines work.
Two miles is not too far to walk for a party.
You'd rather clean than study especially if an essay is due.
"Oh shit how did it get so late!" comes out of your mouth at least once a night.
Parents' cooking becomes something you desire, not avoid.
You schedule your classes around sleep habits and soap operas especially neighbours and Hollyoaks.
You know the pizza boy by name and don't even need to read the menu.
You go to sleep when it's light and get up when it's dark.
You live for getting mail.
Looking out the window is a form of entertainment.
Prank phone calls become funny again.
You start thinking and sounding like your friends and your accent becomes a hybrid of West Country, Surrey and general Northern.
Highlighters are the coolest things on earth.
Rearranging your room is your favourite pastime.
Rubbish cheap £1 shops are so cool.
The weekend lasts from Thursday to Monday.
BEFORE I CAME TO UNIVERSITY, I WISH I HAD KNOWN...
That it didn't matter how late my first lecture was, I'd still sleep through it.
That I could change so much and barely realize it.
That you can love a lot of people in a lot of different ways.
No matter how 'cool' you were in school, no one here cares.
That if you wear polyester everyone will ask why you are so dressed up.
That every clock on campus shows a different time.
That if you got good a-levels, so what? It doesn't matter here.
That I would go to a party the night before an exam or essay due-date.
That you can know everything and fail a test.
That you can know nothing and ace a test.
That I could get used to almost anything found out about my friends.
That most of my education would be obtained outside of lectures.
That friendship is more than getting drunk together but that's still funny......!
That Sunday is a figment of the world's imagination.
Things to do when you're blue.
1. Get snap happy. Take your camera out and take photos of flowers in your garden (or, if you're like me, lean over fences to take pictures of the flowers in other people's gardens!).
2. Do some baking (see the resources page for recipes and links).
3. Curl up in a nice warm bath. It's like being back in the womb. Pretend that when you get out you are shiny and new!
4. Put on some '80s power ballads and prance around your room, singing into a hairbrush.
5. Watch a feel good movie with a mug of hot chocolate.
6. Make a daisy chain. The daylight will do you good, even if it feels like a lot of effort to drag yourself out of bed.
7. Go window shopping on eBay or put in funny words and see what it comes up with.
8. Find a friend to have a cuddle with, failing that snuggle with a teddy.
9. Look up the lyrics to a beautiful song.
10. Flick back through old photo albums for a nostalgia kick.
A Collection of Amusing Quotes
George Bernard Shaw
Dancing: the vertical expression of a horizontal desire legalized by music
Mae West
I used to be Snow White - but I drifted
Anon
So I crossed the line, now I’m gonna lap it .
Winston Churchill, on being told that he was drunk:
Woman, you're ugly but I'll be sober in the morning.
Sally, Coupling(if you haven't seen Coupling get off my boring site now and find it at Surf the Channel)
Bottoms are our natural enemy... They follow us around our entire lives, right behind us, and constantly growing. How do they do that? I’m sure mine’s back there secretly snacking.
Frankie Boyle
The following episode of Songs of Praise contains strong language and scenes of a sexual nature.
Jeremy Clarkson
Some say that his first name really is "The," and that if he went on Celebrity Love Island, they'd all be pregnant including the camera men... all we know is, he's called the Stig
Anon
I could've eaten Alphabet spaghetti and crapped out a better essay!!
Posted on a Boeing 757:
"Fragile. Do not drop."
Anon
Your mama is so fat, when she sings, its over.
George W. Bush
One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
A. Whitney Brown
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants
Douglas Adams
Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Robert Bloch
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.